Yesterday I went over to my sister's dorm to help her fix her printer. In the elevator, I heard the following conversation, with absolutely no irony or joking involved on the part of the second (and cuter) guy, and the first guy showed no sign of recognizing his latent homoeroticism.
Guy 1: Have you heard of the Third Reich?
Guy 2: No I haven't.
Guy 1: I think you could really fit in there, with your blue eyes, blond hair and your atheletic body.
Guy 2: Good. I've been looking for a new extra-curricular`'cause I want to go to grad school someday. Do you know when the next meeting is?
Guy 1: I don't know. We'll have to check the Union.
October 30, 2007
October 29, 2007
Sorry, No Pics---Roommate Lost Camera
I went as gay Dumbledore for Halloween.
Slutty gay Dumbledore, really, with my purple feather boa, a magic wand, a little girl-sized witch costume that barely covered my ass, a cape covered in pink stars that also barely covered my ass, a witch's hat, and go-go boots.
And I was fierce.
Slutty gay Dumbledore, really, with my purple feather boa, a magic wand, a little girl-sized witch costume that barely covered my ass, a cape covered in pink stars that also barely covered my ass, a witch's hat, and go-go boots.
And I was fierce.
October 26, 2007
More Roommate Bashing
I know I keep painting Initials' roommate as an overweight lesbian monster with no redeemable qualities. And that's still an acurate portrayal. Except now she's even worse.
Ok, well maybe I can't completely blame her on this one. But I'm going to.
Her sister has recently broken off her engagement with her fiancee and starting this weekend, she's going to be living with them.
Now Initials can't use his garage, because her stuff will take over their storage area. And we can't watch tv in his living room at night anymore, or come home late at night, because she'll be sleeping on the couch and she is very sensitive and sleep-conscious. Which is ok, because with her she'll be bringing her two long-haired cats, who even by her own account are not very social, and both Initials and I are not going to be able to go into the living room without exploding into conniptions of sneezes.
For at least a month, and probably until the end of the year, he'll be sequestered into his room. Which will drive me crazy, because all he'll want to do is doink and talk about our feelings afterwards. Goddamnit.
Ok, well maybe I can't completely blame her on this one. But I'm going to.
Her sister has recently broken off her engagement with her fiancee and starting this weekend, she's going to be living with them.
Now Initials can't use his garage, because her stuff will take over their storage area. And we can't watch tv in his living room at night anymore, or come home late at night, because she'll be sleeping on the couch and she is very sensitive and sleep-conscious. Which is ok, because with her she'll be bringing her two long-haired cats, who even by her own account are not very social, and both Initials and I are not going to be able to go into the living room without exploding into conniptions of sneezes.
For at least a month, and probably until the end of the year, he'll be sequestered into his room. Which will drive me crazy, because all he'll want to do is doink and talk about our feelings afterwards. Goddamnit.
October 23, 2007
Midterm Reading Guide
I'm sure we all know about these by now, the technically safe-for-work photoshopping of books over the naughty bits of naked guys. So I thought I'd hand it over to you. Do any of you have any reading recommendations? Follow these few simple guidelines and you too can add to the reading list.
Have it be a naked pic. The hottest part is just around the goodies, so if he's wearing underwear and there's a book nearby, why bother? Also, show his face. It's always nicer when they're cute and not a poorly cropped torso. Make sure to cover all of the bits, and not leave anything poking out. And don't forget that all of my readers are horny bastards and will recognize the latest 'model' from Sean Cody, so have it be a random pic of a guy not in a porno. It could even be yourself, if you're so inclined. No one will tell.
Here. Let me give you a few examples.
A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini
The Master by Colm Toibin
Handling Sin by Michael Malone
The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield
The Good Terrorist by Doris Lessing
Email me (link in sidebar) or leave a comment with the url of your selection into the Raw Youth book club. Or whatever.
Have it be a naked pic. The hottest part is just around the goodies, so if he's wearing underwear and there's a book nearby, why bother? Also, show his face. It's always nicer when they're cute and not a poorly cropped torso. Make sure to cover all of the bits, and not leave anything poking out. And don't forget that all of my readers are horny bastards and will recognize the latest 'model' from Sean Cody, so have it be a random pic of a guy not in a porno. It could even be yourself, if you're so inclined. No one will tell.
Here. Let me give you a few examples.
A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini
The Master by Colm Toibin
Handling Sin by Michael Malone
The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield
The Good Terrorist by Doris Lessing
Email me (link in sidebar) or leave a comment with the url of your selection into the Raw Youth book club. Or whatever.
October 19, 2007
You Are the Light
After a terribly, horribly long day at work, dealing with (shudder) eighth grade boys, I'm glad I can come home and watch Jens Lekman on repeat on youtube for hours before I have to do anything else.
God bless youtube.
God bless youtube.
October 18, 2007
Oh, Baby
Sure, I tend to complain about Initials more than I probably should on the blog, giving you guys a skewed view of the relationship. He does do some things right, though.
The things he did to me last night while Jake Gyllenhaal was on the Daily Show while I was naked on the couch watching were very, very, very right.
The things he did to me last night while Jake Gyllenhaal was on the Daily Show while I was naked on the couch watching were very, very, very right.
October 17, 2007
Good Morning!
Lately when I wake up I feel as though I've been sleeping in a herpetarium. A herpetarium is not a home for those afflicted with sexually transmitted diseases, by the way. For those of you who haven't been to a zoo lately, a herpetarium is a fancy term for a reptile and amphibian shelter.
Initials gets incredibly hot when he sleeps. His whole body just radiates heat, which can be nice in the fall and winter usually, but god-awful in the summer. He usually wakes up damp and sticky, and not in a good way. We're talking about moist sheets underneath where he lay.
I kept the air conditioning running for as long as humanly possible to make the sleeping arrangements as pleasant for me as possible. He doesn't notice how hot he gets when he sleeps, and has no complaints. Until yesterday, when the super turned on the heat in the building, and my bedroom became some sort of demon sauna from hell.
So what was I trying to say with the herpetarium lesson?
Initials smells like turtle farts.
Initials gets incredibly hot when he sleeps. His whole body just radiates heat, which can be nice in the fall and winter usually, but god-awful in the summer. He usually wakes up damp and sticky, and not in a good way. We're talking about moist sheets underneath where he lay.
I kept the air conditioning running for as long as humanly possible to make the sleeping arrangements as pleasant for me as possible. He doesn't notice how hot he gets when he sleeps, and has no complaints. Until yesterday, when the super turned on the heat in the building, and my bedroom became some sort of demon sauna from hell.
So what was I trying to say with the herpetarium lesson?
Initials smells like turtle farts.
October 16, 2007
Radiohead Mix
Because I'm trying to post more, and I'm totally digging the new album, I decided to make you guys a Radiohead mix cd. Right click and save, all in mp3 format.
1. Packt like Sardines in a Crushd Tin
2. Where I End and You Begin (The Sky is Falling In)
3. I Might be Wrong
4. Fake Plastic Trees
5. Reckoner
6. Idioteque
7. High and Dry
8. Creep
9. Karma Police
10. The National Anthem
11. Electioneering
12. Life in a Glasshouse
13. Everything in its Right Place
14. Go To Sleep (Little Man Being Erased)
15. 15 Step
16. Morning Bell
17. No Surprises
The one hour and sixteen minutes of Radiohead goodness will be up for a while, and I encourage you to support
And by the by, I paid $5 for the album. Even though I like it a lot, I'm a cheap bastard.
EDIT: Music taken down November 8th, so cough up a few bucks and buy some albums.
October 15, 2007
I've been a bad, bad boy.
And I'm sure all of you are thinking of ways to punish me. I can only assume that you're thinking along these lines, and you are all sick, sick men.
I hate Initial's roommate, as I've mentioned many many times. But now that stupid 400 lb lesbian with cats and no sense of humor and who takes up the fucking kitchen with all of her Hamburger Helper shit now has mono. And no, she didn't even get it by kissing, but by some sort of stupid story involving mistaking her soda can for someone else's. (It took her about ten minutes to tell the story, and I started to tune out after about 2, but I think I got the jist of it.)
And now all she does is mope around their apartment, watching Dancing with the Stars sixteen times a week. Or at least it seems like that; god that show is on all the fucking time. And she won't even mope around and watch it in her room, on her tv, but instead in the living room, for reasons I can't ascertain. She's closer to the bathroom in her room, she has a mini-fridge so she can keep her soda and late-night snacks near her bed, and that way she doesn't fall asleep on the couch drooling all over the armrest, which her cat licks up. It's so gross.
For the past week, therefore, I've started to convince myself that I've got mono. Every time I wake up in the morning and feel cranky and tired, it's because that bitch gave me mono somehow. Every time I'm out of breath after taking the stairs, it's her fault. When I come home from work and my legs hurt, I blame the bitch. I can barely move my hand enough to lift the remote to change the channel. Or so I claim. I have to stay home and rest up and can't go out and do anything fun.
Couple my hypochondria with the annual bout of SAD, and you should have some sort of sense of why I haven't been posting lately.
That and I'm still not entirely sure how much I can trust Initials about not reading the blog. I know he's found it, and he's repeated that he won't read anything unless I give him permission, and while I trust him, I wouldn't trust me in the same situation. And Initials is around all the fucking time so all of my stories are going to revolve around him, and if I'm not writing about him, there's not much else for me to write about except those posts with hot naked men with books covering the good parts. (We've talked about his clinginess, and he's working on it.)
I am having a lot of fun collecting pictures for my naked reading lists, however.
I hate Initial's roommate, as I've mentioned many many times. But now that stupid 400 lb lesbian with cats and no sense of humor and who takes up the fucking kitchen with all of her Hamburger Helper shit now has mono. And no, she didn't even get it by kissing, but by some sort of stupid story involving mistaking her soda can for someone else's. (It took her about ten minutes to tell the story, and I started to tune out after about 2, but I think I got the jist of it.)
And now all she does is mope around their apartment, watching Dancing with the Stars sixteen times a week. Or at least it seems like that; god that show is on all the fucking time. And she won't even mope around and watch it in her room, on her tv, but instead in the living room, for reasons I can't ascertain. She's closer to the bathroom in her room, she has a mini-fridge so she can keep her soda and late-night snacks near her bed, and that way she doesn't fall asleep on the couch drooling all over the armrest, which her cat licks up. It's so gross.
For the past week, therefore, I've started to convince myself that I've got mono. Every time I wake up in the morning and feel cranky and tired, it's because that bitch gave me mono somehow. Every time I'm out of breath after taking the stairs, it's her fault. When I come home from work and my legs hurt, I blame the bitch. I can barely move my hand enough to lift the remote to change the channel. Or so I claim. I have to stay home and rest up and can't go out and do anything fun.
Couple my hypochondria with the annual bout of SAD, and you should have some sort of sense of why I haven't been posting lately.
That and I'm still not entirely sure how much I can trust Initials about not reading the blog. I know he's found it, and he's repeated that he won't read anything unless I give him permission, and while I trust him, I wouldn't trust me in the same situation. And Initials is around all the fucking time so all of my stories are going to revolve around him, and if I'm not writing about him, there's not much else for me to write about except those posts with hot naked men with books covering the good parts. (We've talked about his clinginess, and he's working on it.)
I am having a lot of fun collecting pictures for my naked reading lists, however.
October 10, 2007
October 4, 2007
Fuck You, Hung!
Like all good homos, last night Initials, myself, and my roommate watched the finale of Top Chef, and like all good homos worth their feather boas, we screamed at the television when the judges chose wrong. We thought we might have heard boos on the television, but it might have just been us, and the people in the apartment next door, who also erupted in loud, angry hooting noises at the same time.
As everyone knows, the only time the words "Top" "Chef" and "Hung" appear in the same sentence there better be something like this.
Actually, fuck that. I'd rather have a hung talented bottom that cooks.
< Insert dirty cooking reference here >
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