Have I mentioned that Initials majored in Political Science? I can't remember.
I bring it up because last night during the State of the Union address he went batshit-insane, screaming obscenities at the set and muttering facts beneath his breath and acting indignant at all of the chimps lies, exaggerations, and stupid ideas. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't think his anger was misplaced in any way. It just got old after a few minutes, since I could barely hear the drivel coming out of the president's mouth. It's just that my distaste for the current commander-in-chief manifests itself in terms of eye rolls and witty remarks mocking the politicians.
Finally, during a lull after the stem cell section, I finally said "Oh, just shut up and blog about it."
And he did, and it was much more enjoyable listening to angry clacks on his laptop than his angry rants at the idiot.
January 29, 2008
January 26, 2008
You play with Arcade Fire, you gonna get Arcade Burned
Anyone else in love with Sound of the City's iVoice? They're genius. Here a few favorites.
Results of 2007's Pazz & Jop Poll
Regina Spektor's Songwriting Secrets
Radiohead's In Rainbows
Initials and I have been recreating the conversations in funny voices all weekend.
And let me tell you. We are funny.
Results of 2007's Pazz & Jop Poll
Regina Spektor's Songwriting Secrets
Radiohead's In Rainbows
Initials and I have been recreating the conversations in funny voices all weekend.
And let me tell you. We are funny.
January 24, 2008
"Savage," Indeed
Did this week's installment of Savage Love leave anyone else kind of, well, I don't know. Creeped out?
For those of you who haven't read it yet, basically Dan tells a zoophile to save his pennies, buy a big house with a big fence, and keep the noise down. And then he says that we eat animals and wear their fur, so those of you who are creeped out are hypocrites. Also, you can't really rape dogs because they're always humping your leg.
I've been thinking less and less of Savage Love in the past few years. With the rise of the internet, normal questions are easily solved, which is leaving him with just bizarre shit, and it feels like he doesn't care much about it anymore. I find that I don't agree with him much in the past few years. I'll probably stop turning to the back pages of the Onion and reading it every Wednesday like I used to.
I'll still read his next book, because that's where his talent really lies (in my opinion, at least) but this last article was just, gross.
For those of you who haven't read it yet, basically Dan tells a zoophile to save his pennies, buy a big house with a big fence, and keep the noise down. And then he says that we eat animals and wear their fur, so those of you who are creeped out are hypocrites. Also, you can't really rape dogs because they're always humping your leg.
I've been thinking less and less of Savage Love in the past few years. With the rise of the internet, normal questions are easily solved, which is leaving him with just bizarre shit, and it feels like he doesn't care much about it anymore. I find that I don't agree with him much in the past few years. I'll probably stop turning to the back pages of the Onion and reading it every Wednesday like I used to.
I'll still read his next book, because that's where his talent really lies (in my opinion, at least) but this last article was just, gross.
January 22, 2008
Sportraits
Rumor has it that the local sports franchise suffered an upset this past weekend in an important matchup. Which is unfortunate, if only because the pictures of cute football players that I'm posting seems almost unnecessary.
Note how I said 'almost.'
Note how I said 'almost.'
January 14, 2008
Things I Did Not Say This Weekend
1. Yes, please do set me up on a blind date with all of your gay friends and/or acquantances, regardless of age, interests, or physical attraction, and pay no mind when I say that I already have a boyfriend. I'm sure he won't mind.
2. Yes Roommate, please feel free to get back together with your asshole of an ex-boyfriend a week before we have to move out, leaving me with all of the cleaning and closing of the lease. Why don't you go with him to Israel while you're at it, so I can't contact you in case I find things of yours, or if there's difficulties in closing out the cable subscription which is in your name?
3. Oh, and cable and internet companies, it's totally cool for you guys to charge me upfront for the services I will be incurring while I'm living at my new place. I'd much rather pay the $175 upfront for the next six month cycle instead of paying something reasonable each month like most people. It's totally cool.
4. No, it's totally ok, new landlord, for you to take down the blinds in my apartment "for cleaning purposes" when I'm moving in to my garden-level studio. I'd love to take an old bedsheet and duct tape it to give me some privacy, and plus it will make the place look so spiffy!
5. Yes, Initials, because we haven't had sex in four days because of logistical reasons involving the move and illness, it is totally acceptable for you to get high and cry about it. I bet if you try it again, you'll totally give me a hardon that will last for days!
2. Yes Roommate, please feel free to get back together with your asshole of an ex-boyfriend a week before we have to move out, leaving me with all of the cleaning and closing of the lease. Why don't you go with him to Israel while you're at it, so I can't contact you in case I find things of yours, or if there's difficulties in closing out the cable subscription which is in your name?
3. Oh, and cable and internet companies, it's totally cool for you guys to charge me upfront for the services I will be incurring while I'm living at my new place. I'd much rather pay the $175 upfront for the next six month cycle instead of paying something reasonable each month like most people. It's totally cool.
4. No, it's totally ok, new landlord, for you to take down the blinds in my apartment "for cleaning purposes" when I'm moving in to my garden-level studio. I'd love to take an old bedsheet and duct tape it to give me some privacy, and plus it will make the place look so spiffy!
5. Yes, Initials, because we haven't had sex in four days because of logistical reasons involving the move and illness, it is totally acceptable for you to get high and cry about it. I bet if you try it again, you'll totally give me a hardon that will last for days!
January 9, 2008
My phone rang at 4:37 am.
My first thought was Somebody better be fucking dead. My mom has gotten better now, but in the past she's called me as early at 7 am, just to chat. As she gets older, she gets up earlier and earlier. I imagine it has something to getting older, as the the mind goes, so goes the rationale behind sleeping past 5 am. The day is wasted! After my sister and I have pleaded, often, that there are times when we don't go to sleep until 4 or 5, she's learned not to call us until at least 9 am.
Until yesterday, when it rang at 4:37. I was by myself, because Initials felt as though he'd been gone too long from his cat, and if she doesn't get enough attention she has a habit of throwing up on his shoes. I didn't stay at his place because I'm moving on the 15th, and still have some paperwork to drop off and some cleaning to get started.
I flipped open my phone and muttered, half-heartedly, "What."
"Bob-someone-just-broke-into-our-house-and-I-can't-get-ahold-of-your-father."
"What?" Now I was paying more attention, but still waking up. I sat up in bed now.
"Slow down, what's going on?"
"The police-are-here and your father-isn't-answering his cell-phone. Do you-know-where-he's-staying?"
"Yeah, he's staying at the XXXXX-XXX." He's in town this week, at a work conference. He's at a hotel just a few blocks away from me. It had worked out conveniently, because he brought the van and I was going to use it in the evenings to help me move the heavier stuff. I'm only moving a block away, but I'd still rather not carry a bookshelf or a television that far if I can help it.
"Do you know his number there? He's not-picking-up-his-cell. The police-are-here-and-I-can't....answer all-the-questions."
"Yeah, give me a second and I can google it." I have the fastest speed internet connection of anyone in my family, and my mom's talents aren't much more than checking her email six or seven times a day.
While I was googling, she told me what had happened. Someone had stolen a shovel that we had left on our front porch, gone around to the back of the house, and smashed a window while trying to enter. As he was crawling inside the house, he hit something accidentally, which knocked over the microwave and the microwave stand, which resulted in a huge smash that woke up the entire house. My mother was already up and leaving the bathroom and was able to see a black figure tripping over the windowsill while making his escape, dropping his lighter and tearing his jeans a little bit.
The police found fibers from the jeans, and he dropped a lighter but it fell in water because it was raining, so the police doubt they'll find any prints. There are some footprints in our neighbors yard, and the people on the other side of his place had their car vandalized.
I found the number online, and gave it to her. She hung up and gave him a surprising wake-up call, and then he started to drive off back for home.
And now, everyone is on edge. Everyone feels violated, even I do, and I was nowhere near the place. The rest of the day I was just listless. I chain-bolted the apartment door. I wasn't able to get back to sleep, but just stayed in bed, rewatching the Simpsons movie over and over, with and without director's commentary, until one, when I went to the bathroom. I didn't want to get dressed. I didn't want lunch. I didn't want to mess with moving. I just didn't want to do anything. It sucked. It still sucks.
Until yesterday, when it rang at 4:37. I was by myself, because Initials felt as though he'd been gone too long from his cat, and if she doesn't get enough attention she has a habit of throwing up on his shoes. I didn't stay at his place because I'm moving on the 15th, and still have some paperwork to drop off and some cleaning to get started.
I flipped open my phone and muttered, half-heartedly, "What."
"Bob-someone-just-broke-into-our-house-and-I-can't-get-ahold-of-your-father."
"What?" Now I was paying more attention, but still waking up. I sat up in bed now.
"Slow down, what's going on?"
"The police-are-here and your father-isn't-answering his cell-phone. Do you-know-where-he's-staying?"
"Yeah, he's staying at the XXXXX-XXX." He's in town this week, at a work conference. He's at a hotel just a few blocks away from me. It had worked out conveniently, because he brought the van and I was going to use it in the evenings to help me move the heavier stuff. I'm only moving a block away, but I'd still rather not carry a bookshelf or a television that far if I can help it.
"Do you know his number there? He's not-picking-up-his-cell. The police-are-here-and-I-can't....answer all-the-questions."
"Yeah, give me a second and I can google it." I have the fastest speed internet connection of anyone in my family, and my mom's talents aren't much more than checking her email six or seven times a day.
While I was googling, she told me what had happened. Someone had stolen a shovel that we had left on our front porch, gone around to the back of the house, and smashed a window while trying to enter. As he was crawling inside the house, he hit something accidentally, which knocked over the microwave and the microwave stand, which resulted in a huge smash that woke up the entire house. My mother was already up and leaving the bathroom and was able to see a black figure tripping over the windowsill while making his escape, dropping his lighter and tearing his jeans a little bit.
The police found fibers from the jeans, and he dropped a lighter but it fell in water because it was raining, so the police doubt they'll find any prints. There are some footprints in our neighbors yard, and the people on the other side of his place had their car vandalized.
I found the number online, and gave it to her. She hung up and gave him a surprising wake-up call, and then he started to drive off back for home.
And now, everyone is on edge. Everyone feels violated, even I do, and I was nowhere near the place. The rest of the day I was just listless. I chain-bolted the apartment door. I wasn't able to get back to sleep, but just stayed in bed, rewatching the Simpsons movie over and over, with and without director's commentary, until one, when I went to the bathroom. I didn't want to get dressed. I didn't want lunch. I didn't want to mess with moving. I just didn't want to do anything. It sucked. It still sucks.
January 7, 2008
Me No Know How Read
Duh, me so stupid. Me symbol of failing test scores in America. Me too dumb to grow body hair. If you no want to be dumb like me, you read. Me going to listen Britney Spears now.
If you don't want to end up like this young model from ToxicBoy, you should develop a rich reading life. Here are a few pictures of the books I've read so far this year, covering up the naughty parts of a few young good men.
(Original photograph removed by request of the photographer. I meant no disrespect towards the artist/model, I was only trying to be funny. The artist is obviously a smart and talented individual and I apologize for any discomfort I may have caused him.)
Iris Murdoch--The Black Prince
Ha Jin--Waiting and Larry Doyle--I Love You, Beth Cooper
Bret Easton Ellis--Lunar Park
Salman Rushdie--Satanic Verses (reread)
Mary McCarthy--The Group
If you don't want to end up like this young model from ToxicBoy, you should develop a rich reading life. Here are a few pictures of the books I've read so far this year, covering up the naughty parts of a few young good men.
(Original photograph removed by request of the photographer. I meant no disrespect towards the artist/model, I was only trying to be funny. The artist is obviously a smart and talented individual and I apologize for any discomfort I may have caused him.)
Iris Murdoch--The Black Prince
Ha Jin--Waiting and Larry Doyle--I Love You, Beth Cooper
Bret Easton Ellis--Lunar Park
Salman Rushdie--Satanic Verses (reread)
Mary McCarthy--The Group
January 4, 2008
New Years
So for that one overrated holiday that just happened, or should I clarify, that the most recent overrated holiday, Initials and I originally weren't planning on doing anything. The night is just crowded with amateur drinkers, and there cover charges are outrageous for cheap champagne and plastic party hats. Plus it was going to be really cold out, and I wasn't in the mood.
Anyways, after lots of needling and whining, he was able to talk me into heading to the crappy gay bar near his place. It was as terrible as I expected it to be, with old men leering and craterface twinks splattering glitter everywhere as tacky remixes to the Macarena filled the dancefloor. At least the bartender thought I was cute and gave me really strong drinks.
By 11:45, Initials and I had had enough. We grabbed one of the first plastic flutes of champagne, gulped, and high-tailed it out of there. We rang in the New Year at a stop light outside of the Target, just a quick peck before the light turned green.
Anyways, after lots of needling and whining, he was able to talk me into heading to the crappy gay bar near his place. It was as terrible as I expected it to be, with old men leering and craterface twinks splattering glitter everywhere as tacky remixes to the Macarena filled the dancefloor. At least the bartender thought I was cute and gave me really strong drinks.
By 11:45, Initials and I had had enough. We grabbed one of the first plastic flutes of champagne, gulped, and high-tailed it out of there. We rang in the New Year at a stop light outside of the Target, just a quick peck before the light turned green.
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