November 3, 2004


I'm scared. I can't look at the television screen for any amount of time without my hands starting to shake and my eyes beginning to tear. I honestly fear for my safety and well-being for not only the next four years, but for the rest of my life.

So. Is anyone in need of a cabana boy/trophy husband? I'm not bad looking, I'm a twink, I'm fairly well-read and don't mind mixing drinks in skimpy outfits. I'm a lightweight, and a cheap date. I'm an Honor Student who can make an ice-cream cone disappear with his mouth. I'm a homebody, so you won't have to worry about me running off. I can cook, I'm great with children, and parents adore me. I grew up doing community theatre so I can act out any fantasies in the bedroom that you may have.

Drop me a line if you're interested.

(US Residents need not apply.)
Here lies a most ridiculous raw youth, indulging himself in the literary graces that he once vowed to eschew. Now he just rocks out.