We'll have sex a million times a day!

If When my snuggle bunny Jake and I get married, I don't want to be seen as some sort of uncouth simpleton, unready for the spotlight. I will be prepared the media onslaught; Bennifer will be instantly forgotten, compared to the hot sex appeal that we will ooze when we walk down the red carpet.

Recently, I have rediscovered my inner twelve year old girl and have practiced signing my name as 'Bob Gyllenhaal.' No, I am not kidding. This is how I will sign my name:



I give you all full permission to print this out and sell it on Ebay after we get married.


In other news, I am now officially 100% compatible with my love-muffin:


Your compatibility with Jake Gyllenhaal is 100%

SOUL MATES
You and Jake have the same style and personality
that makes you guys perfect for each other.
Your relationship will last forever!
How compatible are you with Jake Gyllenhaal?



Suck it, bitch.