February 9, 2006

My Meat is Murder!

Do you ever wake up somedays and feel more... pronounced than usual? Bigger even, as if your underwear is fitting more snugly than it usually does, especially in the front? Do you ever get get up out of bed, talk to your roommate a bit, head to the bathroom and realize that your visible penis line is one of two objects that can be seen from space (along with the Great Wall of China)? And then, after realizing why your roommate acted so weirdly earlier, you change into a different pair of underwear (a cute pair, white trunks with red trim) and realize that the white clingy fabric only makes it worse? Ever had trouble buttoning up a pair of jeans that didn't fit so snugly the day before?

If I were ever to take naked pictures of myself, today would be the day, since I'm busting out all over.
Not me, but you get the jist

I'm hoping this means that today is a good day. Maybe CoolKid will IM me and actually stay for an entire conversation (his IM etiquette leaves little to be desired, which makes it harder to schedule a followup). Or maybe Dorothy Parker Boy will come up to me in class and apologize for being a douche. Or maybe...

The male penis can continue growing until the age of 25. I already do pretty well in that region already, but who would say no to another inch or two?
Here lies a most ridiculous raw youth, indulging himself in the literary graces that he once vowed to eschew. Now he just rocks out.