May 2, 2006

Dance?

(NB-I can't be entirely sure of the details of this post. It's mostly filled with hearsay and drunken remembrances. I wasn't there, but I've pieced the story together from a few sources.)

As mentioned in the previous post, it was the weekend before the last week of classes, so there was a big drunken block party, with tons of frat and house parties the night before to get the liver in shape.

My roommate (not the one I occasionally molested last semester) was at a party at one of the sketchier frats, one that doesn't even have three letters in its name. It's the closest frat though, so it has lax guest rules.

Fast-forward to Sunday night, the first time I see him all weekend. He's got a big cut on his nose, a black eye, and some cuts and scrapes on his legs and arms. I asked him what happened.

"Uh, I don't really remember. I think I fell down the stairs at [frat] or something."

When my roommate drinks, he's gone. There are a few videos of him online at places like ebaumsworld of his crazy drunken antics. He's been known to drink whiskey from the bottle on a dare and has on more than one occasion drank "ass-beer," where he is naked and the beer runs down his back, to a cup underneath his genitals, where it is collected and then drank.

Yeah, I know. Ew. Straight boys may be fetishized, but they're still gross.

At any rate, his falling down the stairs isn't completely out of character for him. It wasn't until lunch the next day when I found out what was closer to the truth.

He was at the frat party, all right, and was drunk, hard to control by all accounts. He was harassing the people at the bar, playing with the liquor, spilling bottles and plastic cups and being a general asshole. Someone was able to convince him to go out on the dance floor, away from the alcohol, where he convulsed, throwing himself around the room in the way that only a drunk person can. Eventually the rhythm took over, and he started to dance, completely wasted. His dancing was of a sexual nature, grinding up against people, inserting himself inbetween couples and imitating rap videos. Most girls weren't into it, but they were able to see that he was really drunk and proved no real threat. However, after a while, he started going up to guys and grinding into their asses, occasionally slapping them and imitating sodomy. (He is, by no definition, gay.) Most people thought it was funny.

However, a few of the guys didn't think it was so funny. They grabbed him, and took him out back, where they proceded to beat him up. My roommate from last year thought he had passed out somewhere, and was looking for him to make sure his shoes were off so he wouldn't wake up with pernament marker on his face. He heard some guys out back by the dumpster screaming "Stupid fag!" and went to investigate. As he turned on the light in the yard, the guys sorta ran off, leaving my roommate on the ground. He was taken to a friend's house and his wounds taken care of. The next morning afternoon, he thought he fell down a flight of stairs, and had no recollection of the frat party whatsoever.

Needless to say I won't be going to any frat parties anytime soon.
Here lies a most ridiculous raw youth, indulging himself in the literary graces that he once vowed to eschew. Now he just rocks out.