May 5, 2006

Reader Mail as an excuse for Flesh

To exerpt an email I recieved this morning:
Can you 'splain: your roommate (and his ilk) can get naked at parties, drink ass-beer, and other assorted activities that involve showing off their asses and other parts. Yet, when I've encountered this age group in a gym, locker room, pool or sauna, the contortions to keep any body part from being exposed have, on occasion, almost caused me to laugh out loud....Can that same weirdness possibly apply to dorms and other living situations where you have to be close to other people in similar situations like shared bathrooms and dorm rooms?

Well, to begin with, I'm going to assume that you haven't been wasted in years, if not decades. We're not talking whether or not it's safe to drive or not, we're talking about having trouble holding that last can of beer and standing up.

Alcohol makes you feel warm, and a lot of guys (e.g. my roommate from the previous post) get rambunctious while under the influence. They're warm, they're sweaty, and their inhibitions are lowered. Plus, they're college boys, so chances are they're horny, and regardless of their body, they're still going to show off for the chance of ass.

At the showers in the gym, they're usually sober, sore and tired. In the shower, there's always the chance of shrinkage, and most times I've got to the gym at the Y or where ever, there's always at least one guy who's taking too long getting dressed and staring creepily. Also, most guys stare at their body in the mirrors waaay too much while exercising, gawking at what they're doing and noticing what they need to work on. Few people, especially college guys, go to the gym and are completely pleased with what they see, there's always something different to improve upon. After analyzing their body and its imperfections for hours, trying to fix every muscle enough to impress the girls, they then have to go and stand around naked with the chance for shrinkage of the muscle that they can do the least to improve.

There's also a sense of power dynamics at a party. Most times when people get naked and do ass-beer and streak and stuff, the majority of the people at the party stay dressed, and egg the one guy one. There's always that guy, who'll get drunk before everyone else, and will do crazy shit and then pass out before midnight. And for most guys, the taboo of nudity is high up there: it's gay, it's emasculating, it's embarassing, it's shameful, and it's funny.



I'm pretty sure there isn't a repressed homosexuality going on. Most guys who are encouraging the drunk guy to strip aren't in it of the chance to see some flesh, but to exhert some sort of dominance. They're in charge of the naked guy, not in a sexual way but in a shaming way, like pulling a wedgie or pantsing a guy.

Plus, it's funny in ways that you can't really explain.

As for dorm living, every dorm I know of have stalls in the showers. Guys will walk down the hall in their towels, and then there are two curtains they cover before removing the towel and turning on the water.


I should probably mention that this sort of drunken revelry doesn't happen as much as you'd like think. But its still can be hot.
Here lies a most ridiculous raw youth, indulging himself in the literary graces that he once vowed to eschew. Now he just rocks out.