I saw a rerun of the Gay Ninja Robot episode of Queer Eye the other day, or at least I think I did. It's the one where the 'hopeless' gay guy surrounds himself with straight-but-supportive friends and roommates, which puts a damper on his dating and domestic life, right? That's the episode I saw, the first one I've seen since last summer--I don't get Bravo at school, and while I can begrudgingly admit that I watched and enjoyed it the first season, by the second season my attraction to the show began to wane.
The more I watched the episode (which was pretty much what I remembered it being), the more I thought that I could use a Queer Eye episode of my own. I mean, sure, I'd have to go shopping with Carson, but I'd get a new wardrobe! I'd have to grit my teeth at Thom's color choices, but it'd be a whole new living room set, complete with plasma DVD (usually). I'd have to try not to roll my eyes oncamera when Kyan or Jai are giving their motivational speches. But after the episode was filmed, I'd be fabulous! or at the very least pleased with my material goods.
A little bit later, however, when I started writing this post (blogger has eaten it twice so far), I began to think that I'm actually doing all right with most of the 'tenets' of gay style and sensibility. I really could only use the help of of the Fab Five.
I like to think that I dress well, so Carson can sit this one out. I wear a lot of jeans with button-up shirts, and my tshirts are all quirky, mostly from threadless. I have a large shoe collection, and almost two months worth of underwear. I may not be on the cutting edge of fashion, but I definitely do better than some of the outfits that Carson picks out.
My lunch on Sunday will probably prove that my need for cooking advice isn't at the top of my list. I had some homemade bruschetta, and then had a pita sandwich with vegetarian sloppy joe, a salad, and made a parfait for dessert. While my knowledge of wine isn't as good as it could be, I'm still a college student and only lushes drink wine. Sorry, Ted.
While I may have a few more zits than normal now, it's only due to the fact that we don't have air conditioning and most nights I'm sleeping in my own sweat. My skin care regime is fine. I know how to shave, and I got my eyebrows done for the first time a little over a week ago. Even though I used to think that Kyan was the cutest of the bunch, now his self-help speeches get on my nerves, and I don't really need his help.
Right now I don't even have my own room, and I've been living in dorms for the past few years, so Thom is out. I tend not to like his color choices, anyway. I'm usually pretty good at rearranging furniture, and I like the interplay between the few pieces I do own, namely the rug, the lamp, the desk, and my bedsheets.
And that leaves us with Jai. He was probably my least favorite character, since I never thought he was all that cute and his motivational speeches usually left me with a craving to slap him upside the head. In fact, depending on my mood, I might even argue that I am more cultured that he is, in the sense that 'cultured' usually refers to high-class artistic endeavors, like naming your blog after a Dostoevsky work, instead of more commercial, accessible arts, like playing some flamboyant homo in RENT.
Here's where the GayNinjaRobot similarities come into play. I too mostly just hang out with straight friends, and while they're supportive, we only go to straight bars and straight events. In fact, barring people from online, I don't think I have any 'gay' friends in real life, a fact which I've mentioned previously in the blog.
Of course, my interests are much more in a solitary vein, which complicates things. Sitting around reading blogs, sitting in the back of poetry readings and snickering, hanging out at libraries, watching tv, and masturbating are all better done alone.
I don't play sports, and I'm not much of a 'joiner' be it bookclubs, litmags, special events; hell, I'm barely a member of facebook. I'm just more of a solitary person.
I could just chalk it up to being the brooding, tortured artist a la Emily Dickinson or Henry David Thoreau, but I'd really much rather be a Fitzgerald, getting drunk with other artists and then writing about it later.
I don't know. I guess what I'm saying is that instead of immersing myself in gay culture, like TV, books, movies, and blogs, I could really use a gay friend for the actual camaraderie. That's really what's holding me back from being fabulous!!
