I've been waking up with

a monster of a backache lately. We're talking shoulders of concrete, a spine like a dried twig, and a lower back on which you could grate cheese. (I sound like a rejected Marvel superhero, don't I?)

I know what the problem is, and yet I'm doing nothing to remedy the situation. I'm sure some of my pain is the fault of the school sanctioned industrial cots, I don't think that's it's the source of all the problems--I bought an air mattress a few months ago, and while it's not great, it's better than the cot.

The problem is my body pillow. I sleep with a body pillow, and fall asleep dry-humping spooning it. Sometimes I even spray a little bit of my ex's deodorant so it smells like him (yes, I am that sweet pathetic). I contort myself into some awkward positions. I'm a big fan of sleeping in this position, because I'm a big cuddler, but because it's a pillow and not an actual person, I wake up almost cradling it between my arms and legs.

My ex and I used to sleep like this, which I really liked. Especially for the first few months here at school, I was a wreck because I hated it so much (I still do, but at least I'm getting used to it by now), and I always felt secure and safe in his arms. Aww....vomit.

Slowly but surely it turned more and more into this position, with me doing the 'illegal spooning,' which I suppose I should have taken as a sign. Now he sleeps in a different time zone, and I'm taking advantage of pillows in my sleep.

My roommate hasn't mentioned any moaning or groaning yet, so I think I'm fine, but if I wake up with a sticky pillow, I'm going to need to make some changes, post haste.