Why English?
The Top Ten Reasons To Be An English Major
1. Shakespeare is cool.
2. Quote enough of the text and anything can mean anything.
3. We don't have to take math or science.
4. BS. Lots and lots of BS.
5. We know lots of cool words like: synedoche, catharsis and onomatopoeia.
6. We talk it. Duh
7. Honestly, we kind of LIKE writing essays.
8. Impress your significant other with poetry!
9. If you use big words, people think your smart.
10. It's easier than biochemistry or something like that.
The problems I have with the t-shirts:
1. Shakespeare is overrated, at least in my opinion. Then again, I'm in the Edward deVere camp.
2. No, it can't.
3. We do have to take math and science. We also have to take more social sciences and foreign languages.
4. A dictionary definition of BS is 'something worthless, deceptive, or insincere' --not exactly the words to evoke. Also, BS on a college campus also implies Bachelor of Science.
5. They misspelled 'synecdoche' and misuse the colon
6. Spoken English is a different major, found in the Communication Building. Plus, using 'DUH' to make your point isn't the coherent way to make a point. Shouldn't English Majors have a better handle on the words they use to express themselves?
7.Who the fuck, being of sane mind and body, likes writing essays?
8. As a general rule, poetry sucks--and that goes double for love poetry.
9. They use the wrong 'your/you're,' which I'm pretty sure is something covered in 3rd grade, if not earlier.
10. No, it's not. It's just different. English is subjective, while biochemistry is objective.
11. Also, the capitalization in the title is wrong-- The Top Ten Reasons to Be an English Major.
Also, it must be 1994 in EnglishMajorland, as they still believe tye dyed t-shirts are cool.
I know some of this is just me being facetious and elitist. I can take a joke. I know I can't get too angry about the Shakespeare line, nor about the BS, and I'm sure there are a few students who enjoy writing essays. The thing that really got to me was all the errors; I know my grammar and punctuation isn't always the greatest (I'm too big a fan of commas and dashes), but a roomful of English Majors, English Minors and Creative Writers should have caught some of the errors. I'm hoping that these were typing errors. I hope.
I'm thinking about making my own t-shirt, expounding reasons why I, personally, am an English Major. If you have any suggestions, leave a comment.
