Another crappy letter stating old news.

Dear Jake Gyllenhaal,

If you are still going through your gay phase, or if you feel another phase coming on and just want to get it out of your system, please drop me a line. Or, better yet, if you feel the need to become a "Method" actor, let me know. (It would probably be better if you told Kristen that so she can't get too angry.) I promise I won't bite (unless you're into that sort of thing.)

Love,           
Bob