Don't you just hate it when your ex-boyfriend, whom you have been trying to get over for the past 6 months, leaves an away message stating that he just found out about National Masturbation Month and is now celebrating, and plans on ending the celebration with a big bang? Especially when you thought you were finally getting over him because that one episode of West Wing was on, the one that always made you cry because of him and you didn't cry this time but now you have these thoughts of him permeating your mind because he used to make the greatest faces when he was about to cum and you can’t get the pictures out of your head, and you don't want to act on your impulse to join him because damnit! you're over him now, or at least you tell yourself that over and over because it's not like he's going to call you to help him celebrate because you haven't spoken in five and a half months and he's three states away but if he did call you'd be on the next plane because he still holds that much sway over you--FUCK!
Erm... I mean, this, uh, happened to a friend of mine...a friend of a friend, really. Barely know the guy. I obviously am not talking about me here.
You all buy that, right?
