July 30, 2004

Compy 386!

I work in a sprawling, flourescently lighted building that was built about two months ago. The building is laid out awkwardly, and we've been having problems with flow patterns and technology that isn't up to par. As a result, our 3+ million dollar store isn't doing as well as expected.

Yesterday, our fire alarms decided that there were too many customers in our store, and so they decided to randomly go off to ensure that we would continue in our quest to not turn a profit. These are new fire alarms, heavy-duty, state of the art, alarms that are so annoying they insist that everyone vacates the building. We're talking Fran-Drescher-reincarnated-as-a-cat-being-castrated-while-watching-the-WB annoying.

The store manager quickly came over the loudspeakers and informed our patrons that there was no real danger, and they could continue shopping as the problem would soon be fixed.

Of course, the alarm pretty much guaranteed that everyone vacated the store, leaving all of their stuff behind.

And so, for the next twenty minutes or so while the technicians were on their way from another store, the mildly attractive co-worker from this post laid down some funky techno beats and another co-worker supplied the falsetto "doo-doo-a-dook dook" while I repeated my mantra in my best "Cookie Monster" voice:

"The System. Is Down. The System. Is Down.
The System. Is Down. The System. Is Down.

I am a terrible employee.
Here lies a most ridiculous raw youth, indulging himself in the literary graces that he once vowed to eschew. Now he just rocks out.