Out of the thirtysome gay or gay-friendly student organizations on campus, I am not qualified for any of them.
Oh, if only I were a gay Republican person of color who was a pre-law student looking to ensure a woman's right to choose, or if I were a transgendered and of Hispanic heritage pre-med student living in the dorms who wanted to intern for local politicians, or an HIV+ daughter of lesbian parents who was interesting in getting her doctoral degree while handing out condoms in bars, or a bisexual Socialist Jew looking for telecommunication experience before she comes out to her family. Maybe then I could be popular.
Sure, I signed my name and email address for a weekly digest of upcoming events, but I mean, come on: WEAK.
P.S. I am not exaggerating. And yes, it is kind of funny, if you forget about the first few paragraphs here.