Apparently, my computer is under the assumption that it needs to connect to the network at 10 bps. Not 10k, which would be less than half of dial-up, but 10. Diez. Hopefully the internet man will come tomorrow and make everything all better. My roommate's very pretty laptop does not have this problem.
Speaking of which, I am on my roommate's laptop and can't really give an update. The computer lab in the dorm basement is having problems with its lock, and I haven't quite managed my way around to find an available lab.
I'm not dead, don't worry. According to my stats, I had a lot more visitors these past few days than I usually did, so maybe I'll just continue this sabbatical until I get a few more thousand hits. That's what it all boils down to anyways.