"You have a girlfriend?
I'm really glad that I wasn't the one who retorted that loudly when the boy I'm crushing over casually mentioned that he had a girlfriend. It's good to know that it's not just my gaydar that gets jammed when he's around.
Of course, it's also good to know that she goes to school in Vermont, because the internet is filled with articles on why long distance relationships often fail for college students.
I feel so evil for wishing that upon him.
Wait a sec... No I don't.