November 10, 2004

Hitler Got Laid, So Why Can't I?

With a few minor gender modifications, this could be my theme song.

Modify the lyrics, that is. Not my gender. Thanks, but, um, no thanks. The sentiment is still the same, though.

Even Hitler Had a Girlfriend.mp3
(right click, save as, rock out, rinse, repeat)

I still haven't found a girlfriend though I've tried a lot
So can you help me please; it's tougher than I thought.
The odds are pretty good but the goods are pretty odd
Still at this point, I'd take anything you've got.

You see this all the time--nice girls in love with jerks
What could they be thinking? Tell me how it works.
If I've got some problems, well, I wouldn't be the first
But the ones I have in mind are even worse

Even Hitler had a girlfriend
Who he could always call
Who'd always be there for him
In spite of all his faults.
He was the worst guy ever
Reviled and despised
Even Hitler had a girlfriend
So why can't I?

Life is full of contradictions, hard to understand
For every happy woman, there's a lonely man.
Nixon had his puppy, Charles Manson had his clan
But God forbid that I get a girlfriend.

Even Hitler had a girlfriend
Who he could call his own
To sweeten days of bitterness
And feeling all alone.
I'm not as bad as Hitler
But it doesn't mean a thing
Since they'd rather be with Hitler more than me
I don't see
Why they'd rather be with Hitler more than me.
Here lies a most ridiculous raw youth, indulging himself in the literary graces that he once vowed to eschew. Now he just rocks out.