Meet Russ.
Russ is smart. You can tell he's smart because he wears glasses and a bowtie. Russ was smart enough to bring both flowers and chocolate on our date. What a gentleman! He was also smart enough to dress in only his boxers, realizing that I'm so hard up, I'd be all up in his business before I closed the door behind him. Plus, it accentuates his six pack.
He's photo-shy, so I didn't get to take more pictures of him. His hair isn't quite as frizzy as it looks in the picture, and I took the picture while he was chewing, so his facial expression is a bit off. He's much better looking in real life, I swear.
(I'd also like to point out that even though I'm not a size queen, Russ still has it going on. That bulge in his boxers ain't just for show. While he might not seem like much on first glance, he's a grower. He grew to over five times his original size when we were doing the wet and nasty.)
Unfortunately, I awoke Sunday morning to find that he was gone.
I hope he calls.
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EDIT: This post was much funnier in my head.
