June 8, 2005

Cool, Tall, Vulnerable and Luscious

While at work yesterday, a Liz Phair song kept playing through my head.
"I want to be cool, tall, vulnerable and luscious
I would have it all if I'd only had this much"
And I do and I would.

Despite all your claims to the contrary, I don't think it was all Heart's fault. I think I marginalized him too much, and probably didn't present the story as well as I could have. I was still hurting, and put together a blog post that painted him in a worse light than he deserves.

No, I'm not forgiving him for what he did. No, I'm not giving in too nicely. But we talked yesterday, and he's hurting. He's apologized many times, and sweetly, too. I don't know if he's read the blog lately, but he knows he did wrong and wants to make it up to me but doesn't know how.

Basically, I'm saying to ease up on your opinions of this guy. He's not all bad. You'll just have to trust me on that.

Don't get me wrong. Thanks for saying it. I'm insecure about my relationships, and definitely needed to hear that it wasn't my fault, and that I'm a catch, and all that.

Ah hell. I don't know. I probably sound like a battered wife in this post, defending her man, which isn't what I'm going for at all. Aw fuck it, nevermind.

When I started seeing Heart, my readership slowly dropped by over a third, and now that I'm single again, my stats are rising again. You guys must like it when I'm lonely.
Here lies a most ridiculous raw youth, indulging himself in the literary graces that he once vowed to eschew. Now he just rocks out.