I move into the dorms in tee minus twentyfive days, give or take, and I have yet to find out my roommate situation for next year. I am not pleased about this in any way, shape or form.
I really would like it if my next roommate turned out to be a latent homosexualist. I don't know if it's a continuation of yesterday's post, the residual effects of mothering for Heart after his surgery, or inspiration from one too many reruns of that that Will & Grace episode where Karen's cousin is a scraggly, recently out gay man and Will and Jack turn him into a presentable hip homo. I'd really like to help someone come out of the closet, for real, not just teaching the new guys at work to flirt with the attractive customers.
I could make him watch all the movies he should, from Auntie Mame and Angels in America to Y Tu Mama Tambien and Yentl. I could take him to his first gay dance and expose him to dance music, teach him the value of a good wit by way of Truman Capote and Charles Nelson Reilly, have him buy really expensive shoes, and teach him the value of pomade. We could watch Sex in the City, even though it's not very good, and we can watch Will & Grace, which everyone kinda dislikes but watches anyway. I could teach him to despise lesbians, cull some 'fag hags' and take him to get manicures and pedicures. I could watch him get all giddy for his first gay date, and help him pick out an outfit. I can be there for a hug if he needs it after he comes out to his friends and family.
Man, that would be fun.
I'm sure there's some hidden neurosis (or twelve) in there somewhere, that I don't feel like I'm living up to the gay standard and am using him as a way to work out my frustration with gay culture, or some pseudo-psychobabble like that, but I still think it'd be fun.
PS--Yeah, I don't like the title to this post either, but really it was unavoidable.
