At work for the past week, I've been training these new guys how to cashier. They're the guys who are going to replace me once I move back to Madison. They're eating up all my hours, which sucks, but it's not all bad.
See, they finally hired some homos at my work. I used to be the only one, but now, by my account, there are three new young questioning youth working in my department, and I'm in charge of training two of them. Mua ha haha.
I'm trying to coax the gay out of them, encouraging them to give cute guys/gay couples discounts that don't exist, having them check the underbelly of the cart when guys come by wearing shorts exposing nice calves, and all in all flirting with the attractive male customers. They'll be bleaching their tips, wearing ugly necklaces and plucking their eyebrows in no time. Not that I do any of those things, but you know kids these days...
I think things are coming along nicely in that regard. I had one of them, after his shift, buy me some soda and a candy bar, and he was all coy and nervous while we walked to our cars. It was all very sweet and precious, but he's under 18 so I kept my hands off (no touchee! no touchee!) and the relationship professional.
But I was grinning like a motherfucker on the inside.