The first National Coming Out Day was kicked off by Adam's "coming out" speech that some remember as a little over the top. With such subtle phrases such as "been suckin em for years" and "miss that feelin only an ultra-erect penis in my ass can give me," [National Coming Out Day] won't soon be forgotten.
Since yesterday was, in fact, National Coming Out Day, I spent a bulk of my spare time trying to convince my shirtless roommate to come out of the closet and make out with me.
I mean, sure, he's a Republican, but considering my track record (someone emotionally abusive, a giant eight year old, someone taken, someone who doesn't like me, and someone who plays Magic) he'd probably fit right in.
Unfortunately, I spent so much time trying to get him to come out (I was thiiiiiiis close to taking a shower with him), eventually the clock struck midnight and I was stuck writing my 5 page paper on Newton until the wee hours of the morning.
The event for the most part has been a success. I say "for the most part" because many remember that fateful day 4 years ago, when Adam [the founder] or "Rocket" as collegues know him as, allegedly tried to "service" over 37 men in one sitting prior to his yearly speech. Apparently they were too much for him and he was unable to attend the ceremony... "He was going strong one minute and the next thing we knew he was unconscious and covered in various mens DNA. It was horrifying"
Here lies a most ridiculous raw youth, indulging himself in the literary graces that he once vowed to eschew. Now he just rocks out.