January 3, 2006


Perhaps I jumped the gun with yesterdays post. Perhaps I should backtrack.

I don't use the word "resolutions" as I think it's dumb, but I do have a few personal goals for 2006.

1. Stop spending so much goddamn time in the gay.com chatrooms.

2. Lose a couple pounds. I'm not fat, but I am starting to get softer around the middle. They're not love handles, but they could possibly qualify as 'infatuation handrests' and I want to nip that in the bud.

3. Don't be such a prude.

For a while, being able to count your sexual partners on one hand was fun, a sign of strong inner strength and old-fashioned values, I'm a good boy, or something like that. But then, sometime around this summer, I started to think that maybe it was just a sign that I couldn't get laid.

I've tried to go baby-steps with this goal. Remember a few weeks ago, when a foot fetishist wanted to give me a footrub? I thought that would be a good introduction. It's not a gangbang or a gloryhole or anything like that, but a fun way to give a guy masturbatory fodder. He ended up flaking out, but I still think it could have been fun.

I don't want to turn into a whore, I just want to be able to have more fun and not obsess or feel guilt about it or anything.

So I guess this story starts out like all other stories of mine.

A few weeks ago, right before break, I was chatting online with this guy, a pretty good conversation and he was pretty cute. We'd chatted a few times last semester too, but then I hadn't seen him online for a while. I'm making jokes, he's making jokes, neither of us is speaking in aimspeak (e.g. LOL) when out of the blue, he makes a sexually charged comment. Thinking it was a joke, or at least a setup to a joke, I went along in that vein, elaborating a humorous conversation.

He lives in DC, and said that he would be visiting his boyfriend, who is a grad student here, during break, almost exactly when I'm at home. They haven't seen each other since this summer, and he said something implying that he and his boyfriend would spend the entire week fucking like bunnies, and that all they'd need is a good chinese delivery place or a cute pizza delivery boy for sustenence. He then asked if I had a pizza oven and a uniform.

Thinking he was joking, we bantered a while about how much fun recreating a porn scene could be. We were faking stilted dialogue, innuendo about sausage and 12 inch personal size, and adding the occasional 'whaa wahh' and 'boomchickchicka' when the music suggested it. I was having fun.

Turns out, he wasn't joking. He was visiting his boyfriend during break, and was hoping to have a threesome during break, just something to mix it up. He'd never done it before, his boyfriend had never had one before, and they were looking for another guy who wasn't creepy or old to maybe have some fun with them during Christmas break. He saw my picture and liked it, and enjoyed our conversation, and wanted to set something up.

Imagine my surprise.

I reluctantly accepted, saying that I was hoping to drive back to Madison at some point during break, to hang out with friends and do a few errands. Maybe one of the errands could be a threesome. I was excited and tentative and intrigued and all sorts of other emotions.

Unfortunately, we set things up as that I would talk to him online (via AIM) when I got a day off of work and such. I haven't seen him online since I've been back, and don't have an email or a phone number to contact him. I do have a few days off of work this week, and have been talking to my parents trying to work out the car situation. I know he leaves town sometime the first week in January, I just don't know when, or how/if things are going to work out.

We'll just have to wait and see.
Here lies a most ridiculous raw youth, indulging himself in the literary graces that he once vowed to eschew. Now he just rocks out.