"God, Bob, you're so judgemental"I forget the exact context for these lines, and what I said to spark their interjection, but I'm sure I was catty and delightful.
"It's what my people do best."
I wasn't lying, either. You know it. Gay people are judgmental. It is what we do best. That's why we rule the Red Carpet, we rock America's Next Top Model, the soundbite on VH1, the best quips on the Real World, you name it. We're masters of the snappy putdown. To survive a night out with the guys, you'll need thick skin, tight pants, and a reply to everything.
Of course we're judgmental. We have to be in order to survive. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that our criticism and need to judge others not only has a entertainment value, but a safety one as well.
What is gaydar if not a snap judgment of another's sexuality? It's a opinion that comes within a few seconds of meeting someone, or seeing them across the room. Walking into a bar, the first thing I do, almost subconsciously, is to do a "fruit loop" and identify how many gay people are there. It always makes me feel better if I'm able to identify one, even though there's no real reason. Another gay person in the bar doesn't offer any protection or safety, and yet I feel more comfortable in the bar if I'm not the only gay guy around, even if that safety is only in my mind. (I should mention that my friends are all straight and cheap, and the bars we frequent usually cater specifically to such people.)
Of course, the inverse is true, too. I'm not really sure if this still counts as gaydar, but I can usually tell who to be careful when I 'come out' to them. Sure, it might be more imagined than a real talent, but I still like to think that it holds some water.
I don't really think that it's that big of a jump from gaydar to snap judgments to being judgmental. If I can identify someone with a glance as gay, closeted, a slut, a straight bigot, or whatever, I've already identified and labelled them. Once they're labelled, I know them, or at least their type, and know how to act. And once we have that snap judgment, it doesn't take much to come up with a retort.
Especially if you're fabulous. Then it doesn't take much at all.
