While logging into my hotmail account this morning (yeah yeah, I hear you gmailaholics) there was a little link in the sidebar to a question which piqued my interest: Am I better off single?
Being somewhat gullible, and being somewhat interested in finding a positive spin to my lonely nights, I clicked on the link which sent me to an article on match.com featuring "10 fascinating benefits to being unattached."
Reason #1: You have a better body.
I don't know. I'm pretty self-conscious of my body (I don't even own a pair of shorts), but my body's pretty much essentially the same when I'm in a relationship or out of it. However, when I'm in a relationship, I'm not as worried about my body anymore, feeling completely at ease just hanging out in bed naked, or lounging around in just boxers. And since I rarely work out, the best exercise regiment I've ever had is the regular sex in a relationship.
Reason #2: You’re more likely to achieve great things.
I don't know about that. While it's not the favorite poem I've written, most people seem to think that the long, freeform love poem I wrote freshman year is their favorite. I mean, everyone loves love poems, and stories about your true love, and paintings of people kissing. Sure, it may be sappy, but everyone loves a good love story. Where would Shakespeare be without his mysterious dark lady? Where would FDR be without Eleanor? Britney without K-Fed?
Reason #3: You do less housework.
Bah. I usually end up doing the same amount of housework, if not less. While I'm very much a 'nester,' I prefer spending time over at his place. After living either at home or in the dorms for the past 22 years, I'm ready to have a place of my own so that I can have my own little lovenest, should the fates deem that so. But I mostly like spending time at his place.
Reason #4: You can do what you want with your money—including keep it.
See, I don't really care that much about money. I don't really think much about picking up the tab with friends, or treating someone to lunch. Sure, I'm young, and things like student loans, car loans, mortages, and insurance premiums haven't caught up to me yet, but I'm still pretty lax about money.
Reason #5: You have better sex.
To be honest, I think I like the post-coital part of sex better than the actual act, catching our breath, a few lingering kisses, giggling while lying in bed, the relaxed post-orgasm euphoria which makes you feel so much more open towards the other guy, especially if you're really crushing on him.
Reason #6: You’re better rested and smarter.
See, maybe I'd doing this backwards. I always tried to improve myself when I was in relationships, teaching myself key phrases in French because he minored in the language, or learning about organic living because he did, or keeping up to date on his favorite bands and political affiliations.
Reason #7: You’re less depressed.
Bah. If that were true, I wouldn't be reading this stupid article, now would I?
Reason #8: You have better friendships.
I'm not really friends with most of my friends anymore anyway. They've all moved away, and we don't chat online as much as we used to. Even my friends from school have all succumbed into a big catfighting clique, where those two once hooked up and now it's awkward, and he's not talking to her, and she's not talking to those guys, and he once got drunk and started threatening people so no one's really talking to him anymore, and yadda yadda yadda. If it were easier for me to make friends, I'd try to sever all ties and start new again in the fall, but that's not very likely.
Reason #9: Your travel tales are enviable.
Hell, I'm not even sure I've left this area code this summer. I don't like traveling places when I'm alone. I like traveling with friends, or in large groups, and I tend not to be that into exploring new things. I love tagging along on trips though, especially day trips.
Reason #10: You know yourself—and what you want out of a relationship.
I don't know what I want out of a relationship. Hell, I don't even know what I want to do with my life anymore. After starting my professional resume this weekend, I'm feeling woefully underqualified for anything I'd be remotely interested in persuing as a career. And I don't know what I want out of a relationship either. I don't know if I want someone to support me, or someone who artistically blows me out of the water, or someone who's kinda butch or someone who's feyer than me and keeps me in touch with my homo roots, or an eerie doppelganger of me, or someone really dumb so I can feel smart and teach them about things like French films and Dostoevsky, or someone really smart who makes me want to be a better person-- hell, I don't even know if I want a top or a bottom. All I'm looking for is someone with a heartbeat and working genitalia, and even then, that's not a dealbreaker.
Sure, this list is aimed at people about twice my age, men and women who are reeling from their first divorce and are looking for new ways of joining the dating pool. And since it looks less than likely that I'll be able to 'marry' anyone as such until the legislative, judicial and executive branches are back in the hands of competent Democrats, I probably shouldn't worry too much about it.
But that's not going to stop me.
