I'm a man of habit, and for the past eight or nine years every time I grab a straw at a fast food restaurant and unwrap it from the paper, I cross the wrapper and pull it through. While I pull, I think of the name of a dapper young gent on whom I have my eye. If the knot stays, he's not thinking of me. But! if the wrapper rips and the knot is undone, he's thinking of me, too. In that way. Let me give you a slightly not safe for work picture to illustrate my point.
Last night, around 8:30 I realized that I hadn't eaten dinner yet, and so I went and grabbed some food at a fast food joint. Well, faster food joint, a few steps up from McDonalds. While I was waiting for the food to be ready, I grabbed my cup and filled it with lemonade (I had vodka at home to spice it up). I put the lid on, grabbed a straw, stuck it through, tied the paper in a knot, and thought of.... no one. I was just standing there, holding a straw wrapper in my hand, with nary a cute guy in my head.
Going through a flirting dry spell at the bars is one thing, but blanking as to anyone I would like to be thinking of me in that way is just sad. Celebrities don't count--I doubt that Jake Gyllenhaal or Aaron Eckhart know of me, or at least know enough about me to want me spread lavisciously on their bed. There's no one I even have my eye on, no one in my classes, no friends, or friends of friends, or regulars at the bars I frequent, nothing.
This sucks.
