November 20, 2006

The Ugly Duckling

Within the past three weeks, three of my closest friends have been dumped. Long, serious relationships too, one lasting two years, one four, and another eighteen months.

It's been an arduous few weeks, let me tell you. My liver is enjoying the fact that last night was the first time since G. got dumped on the 3rd that I've stayed in and just watched tv, with no alcoholic beverages.

Don't get me wrong--we're not alcoholics. There have been definite reasons why we've gone out, to someone changing his facebook profile to single and therefore she needed to get her mind off of things, or walking past a coffeeshop and seeing him sitting with another girl, or a late-night text message recieved the next morning that didn't sit right. We've gone out for one drink, for two drinks, for three drinks, and gone balls to the wall. We've slummed and looked to feel good about ourselves, we've dressed cute and flirted, we've hit new bars and old haunts. We've laughed (I've even been barred from the bar across the street for my dirty dirty mouth), we've cried (well, I haven't, but others have), it's been a bumpy, hazy few weeks.

Although now, the week before Thanksgiving, all three of them have found someone new. At least someone new.

G. has already dated someone, or seen someone, or awkward-verbbed someone for three weeks and cut it off because he was too boring when he was sober.

J. has her choice of two guys; one a incredibly sweet guy with too much school spirit, and a mutual friend who's looking to take things to a different level.

D. has acquainted herself with a guy she met at the bar, and yesterday updated her profile to tell the world that she's off the market again.

And where does that leave little old me?

Still single.

The only one not to get a phone number, the only one not bowing out early on the arms of some fella, the only one not to walk home the next morning.

It gets old.

In fact, the more I think about it, the more I realize it and the more it bums me out. I've never been asked out in real life. I've never been asked for a phone number from someone I just met. And the times I do try I get politely declined (and sometimes in sign language!).

I can't even just blame it on the bars, since I recently updated my profile pic online to a totally cute picture and there's been no luck.

I can think of a few reasons why I'm so unlucky.

1. Being the only gay guy in the group of friends, we don't frequent places with good odds for me finding someone.
2. I'm not attractive enough.


I'm watching Sex and the City as I'm watching it, and I'm envious. It's all so easy for them. Sure, it may have to do with the poor writing, the cheesy lines, the established franchising and the fact that NYC is represented as a magical land of handsome, dateworthy men.

I want it to be easy.
Here lies a most ridiculous raw youth, indulging himself in the literary graces that he once vowed to eschew. Now he just rocks out.