Allow me to back up briefly. This one takes a while to set up.
Long story short. About a year ago, my roommate broke up with her jerk boyfriend of two years to start dating a wonderfully hot guy. When she studied abroad last semester, she broke it off with the the wonderfully hot guy, or WHG for short. Unfortunately, the jerk comes from a decent amount of money, and was able to visit her in Prague a few times, and they slowly but surely got back together, much to my annoyance. She broke up with the jerk last week, and now she's on the market.
Or at least she was.
While ogling his facebook profile and wishing that she made a better choice, she realized that it was his birthday on Thursday. According to his AIM aweay message, he was going out drinking that night. We got it into our heads to sneak out and 'accidentally' bump into him and wish him a happy birthday, and if he's drunk enough, have her walk him home and 'help' him get into bed. Unfortunately, he didn't mention in his away message which bar he was going to.
It would require all of our sleuthing abilities.
He wasn't at the big sports bar. He wasn't at the sketchy dive near his place. He wasn't at the place where they give you a free meal on your birthday, nor was he at the place in the basement of an apartment complex and it feels like you're at a really nice high school party.
The last bar that we thought he would celebrating his 23rd was the place that neither of us had been to before, the place known for giving out free bacon (hey, you've got to have a gimmick). We looked around the first floor, and didn't see him, and whatever hope we had went out the window. Dejectedly, we took our $4 pitcher and made our way up the stairs. I turned around because I thought I heard someone call my name. I turned around, and didn't see anyone.
Except for WHG. He wasn't the one who called my name, but I saw him anyway, sitting with his friends tucked in the back corner by the door.
"Shit." The giddiness and sneakiness we had at the beginning of the night had worn off, and as we were walking to this bar, we realized just how short-sided our plan was. Even if we did bump into him, it was bound to be awkward, and if he was drunk, there would be an equal chance that he will come up and cuss her out for dumping him for the jerk. Plus he'd be with a bunch of his friends, and he's not going to ditch bros for a 'ho.
"Move move, he's here." I frantically stage-whispered to my roommate, and she booked it up the stairs.
He caught my eye. His hair had grown out, and he's lost a few pounds, so now the resemblance to John Krasinski was even more pronounced. Yum.
He waved, and I waved back. He made a motion that he was coming over to where I was. He didn't see my roommate, fortunately. Or unfortunately. I'm not sure which. She finished walking and hid behind a group of people playing dars.
He came over and started making small talk about our Halloween costumes (he went as Quailman). I mentioned I was here with my roommate, and I motioned her over. She begrudgingly came out from her hiding spot, and she could tell by the shit-eating grin that he made that our sleuthing worked out in the end.
He ended up talking to the two of us for the rest of the night, even as his friends slowly walked up from their table and said they were going to hit another bar. He said his goodbyes, and stayed with us as we went and got drunk food and then walked us home. Ok, I guess technically he walked her home, but I got a contact giddiness at their rekindling. I feigned a headache and so left them in our living room, chatting.
The next morning, he and I split some coffee while making fun of whatever was on VH1 at the time.
And the two of them hung out all weekend and now they're living together happily ever after. Or at least they went to the game together and then out for sushi last night and they're officially dating again.
We should totally contact Nickelodeon for a quirky kid-based alcohol-soaked detective show. It'd be sweet.
