Valentines Day crisis averted.
Fortunately, Initials favorite rock band is playing a concert on his birthday, and tickets just went on sale.
Ergo, Initials' Valentines and Birthday gift are all set. I don't have to worry about buying him anything meaningful until Christmas. I'm a genius! A cheap, cheap genius!
Here lies a most ridiculous raw youth, indulging himself in the literary graces that he once vowed to eschew. Now he just rocks out.