The most shirtless pics of any political liveblog, or double your money back.
8:59 CBS tonight for the liveblog. Sure, I hate Katie Couric, just like everyone else, but I'm sick of NBC's talking over everything.
Katie Couric looks like a drag queen version of Joel Grey from Cabaret.
9:01 I missed the keynote address by Mark Warner. Instead of the soundbite clips from last night, CBS has some old guy interviewing him, and there isn't nearly as much background noise interfering, either. I like Warner's tie.
9:02 I kicked Initials out to grab some chicken breasts for dinner tomorrow. Last night he just got too annoying and whiny about Obama. He should be back in time for Hillary later.
9:04 Oh, it's David Paterson, the governor of New York. His soundbyte is great. "If John McCain is the Answer, the question must be ridiculous."
9:05 Now Katie is interviewing someone who used to work for Hillary back when she was the first lady. She looks like a lesbian, or maybe a soccer mom who has given up. Dressed all in black--is that an omen?
9:06 On what does Hillary blame her campaign's failure? Obviously, Obama failed to bow down and cower at her feet. Duh.
9:08 Looks like Katie Couric, et al, are talking over some other speech. At least NBC let us see the names of the people they were talking over.
A Hillary supporter needs to hear that Hillary supports Barack Obama in order to change her vote. Um, hasn't that already happened? If you care so much about Hillary, shouldn't you be aware of that?
9:09 Oh snap. Someone just referred to a democrat as a "tofu and sprouts" instead of red meat. Quick, someone mention arugula! Damn snotty liberals.
A history of the 2nd place losers. Reagan doomed Carter, Ed Kennedy wasn't inspiring enough, McCain took potshots at Michael Moore, and apparently those are all of the 2nd place people worth mentioning. Way to get an intern to dig deep into wikipedia for that one, Katie.
9:14 According to the commercial, standing up to cancer involved really crappy mandolin playing.
B:16 Mitt Romney is having fun at the Democratic National Convention. How interesting. I hope he doesn't rain on the parade!
Oh.
Well, making fun of people is fun, so I guess he's having fun making fun of Obama. But according to Mitt, when Republicans mock their opponents, it's different and totally outside of the need
Katie Couric: They called you his attack dog. Did they really mean his bitch?
9:18 Dukakis YES! That's what this convention needs, a poorly lit alsoran who will be best known as a Jeopardy question (or answer) ten years from now.
9:20 Let's interrupt this interview to watch Bill Clinton sit down!
9:25 Another Hillary supporter sucking it up and rooting for Obama. Yawn. Isn't there a new angle they could be taking with this? There seems to be someone riveting talking on the stage behind them.
9:28 Let's talk about the race card! The guy makes a good point. Anyone who's not going to vote for him because he's black is probably not going to vote for him for dozens of reasons. Not only is he black, but he's progressive and forward thinking and doesn't have a white hood in his closet.
9:28 Biden's son is kinda cute, but keeps nodding his head like a chicken poking for scratch.
9:29 Here's a list of everything shitty that's everything that's ever happened to Joe Biden. Why doesn't your dad just slit his wrists?
9:30 Michelle Obama is talking to Joe Biden and half-heartedly clapping when she hears other people clapping. That's totally me.
9:33 Let's play a clip from the movie dedicated to Hillary Clinton that we'll be watching in full in ten minutes!
9:34 The crowd just yelled "NO" when Katie Couric asked the talking head a question about Hillary's effectiveness as an attackdog. Funny. Maybe you should let us listen to the speeches, CBS!
9:35 They've started the full video to Hillary Clinton, but first we have to let the talking head finish blathering.
Bill Clinton is referred to as "Hillary's Husband."
Whipped!
9:38 Oh, and the Saturday Night Live sketch! Nice. All television should come with an Amy Poehler cameo. And Tina Fey. Bitch is the new Black!
This whole video just reminds me on how much I wanted Hillary to win.
I'm sick of the line 18 million cracks in the glass ceiling. It's like, the fifth time I've heard it this convention, and I've only watched an hour and a half.
9:41 Chelsea is dressed in all black as well. A theme for the night?
9:42 Hillary takes the stage in a gold pantsuit. She looks like the Oscar statue.
9:43 They're still clapping.
9:44 A sea of white signs cheering for Hillary. And they're still clapping. Bill looks like he's going to burst with pride, like a parent who's child just won the Science Fair with minimal help.
9:45 All right, now quit cheering. She's got a speech to speechify!
9:46 Hillary is full of pride tonight, proud of being a New Yorker, a mother, a Senator, an American and a supporter of Barack. I guess she's going to deflect all of the talk about Barack being 'prideful' or 'arrogant.'
Arrogant is just another word for "uppity," you know. That's what the Republicans really mean when they say things like "arrogant" and "prideful."
9:47 We're on the same team? Sitting on the sidelines? There's nothing Initials hates more than a sports metaphor.
9:48 No way, no how, no McCain. Close up of Bill giggling like one of those schoolgirls from the Mikado.
9:49 She looks like she means her endorsement of Obama. I like to think I have a pretty good bullshit detector, and she's passing, so far.
And she just referenced that time when she got teary, and people cheered. Yay?
9:51 Let's tug at the heartstrings! It'll make Michelle Obama give good face.
HA! The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pantsuits. I love it, it makes Initials cringe visibly from across the room. He's in a cranky mood.
9:53 It's like the Oscars, where people are clapping for the most popular dead people.
9:54 Renew the Promise of America? Way to mention the theme of tonight, and remind me that CBS's coverage fails as poorly as NBC's.
9:58 Initials is amazed at Bill's ability to always know when a camera is aimed at him, and his ability to make the perfect face. I think that he's just a good listener.
10:00 Yeah, Michelle looks like a smug bitch right there. Initials is happy that she looks fat in her dress.
10:03 Wouldn't it be funny if the crowd starting chanting "FUCK McCAIN." If I were there, that would totally be what I would be doing.
10:04 I believe in America! Oh wait, that's the Godfather.
10:05 If you're a slave running away from your master, keep running away. Even though that was illegal at the time. So if you're going to break the law, really go for it, and don't get caught! Is that really what she's saying?
10:06 Yeah, she pulled it off. And by pulled it off I mean that I really wish she would have won.
And they're getting some nitpicking postgame wrapup. Did she talk too much about her similarities with Obama instead of talking about Obama? Blah blah.
Some postgame wrapup:
Like NBC, CBS is a big fan of talking over speeches, although for some reason it didn't piss me off as much tonight as much as it did last night. I still didn't get a sense of "Renewing America's Promise," but I guess that's going to be par for the week. At the end of the night though, I just wish Hillary would have fun.
