My company has promoted me to a new position, created especially for me. Starting next month, I will have the 8th gayest job possible.
And no, it does not involve a penis in my mouth. It's not that kind of position.
I've seen movies where it could easily end up that way. But I won't, because I'm classy. And because they probably won't allow me to put that on my business cards.
Here lies a most ridiculous raw youth, indulging himself in the literary graces that he once vowed to eschew. Now he just rocks out.