When I was in high school, I wanted to be super-famous, like every other aspiring talented actor/singer/writer/you name it. But now that I'm older, I'd much rather be famous for being reclusive.
A lot of that can be attributed to growing up and no longer needing to be the center of attention, and some of that need for privacy has come because I've slowly changed my creative focus from acting and performing to writing. No matter how hard I try I can't imagine any National Book Award winners on TMZ.com being photographed walking out of Starbucks or trying to get into a hot new club.
I don't mean to be the next Pynchon or Salinger, but still, I'd like to be secretly famous, with no one knowing about it until my obituary. There's a whole lot to be written about blogging and my dreams of semi-celebrity, about being able to wholly create and control your online image and persona.
And so I was surprised recently when I was offered some free swag from Pom Wonderful. I have my followers, but I'm no joemygod or towleroad, and so this is the first time that someone has offered me free stuff online without first claiming to be an exiled Nigerian prince looking for seed money to help get his vast riches out of Africa and into the increasingly lucrative market of antioxidant-rich juices.
My first instinct was "Fuck yeah I'll plug the juice in the double-bubble bottle!" I love pomegranate juice but it's far too expensive for a poor college graduate working for a struggling non-profit arts organization. I mean, who doesn't love free shit?
Actual pomegranates are a mess to deal with, and ounce for ounce it might be the most expensive byproduct of squeezed fruit available on the market--that's what comes from lack of corn syrup.
And so maybe I wouldn't be the famous recluse, expressing myself artistically and then retreating months or years at a time, working under a stage name or pen name, with even my closest friends and relatives left in the dark until my death. Maybe I would ruin it all for a big paycheck, like Jamie Lee Curtis and her poop yogurt, or Orson Welles and his peas.
I guess I'll just have to wait and see. But as for now, expect a few more posts this week about the juice in the double bubble bottle. If you are a marketing rep for any sort of cool company, drop me a line and I'll see what we can do.