July 28, 2004

Hump Day.

Today's the day when I'll be talking all about the sex. Or lack thereof. This post will soon be deleted, so if you're going to get your rocks off, do it quick. Quickly. Damn. I just mention the word sex and I turn stupid. I guess I really am a teenage boy. Not for long, though--soon I'll be in my early-twenties, and then you can bet your sweet bippy I'll be mature and elegant like all the other guys in their early-twenties. Erm.

Speaking of sweet bippies, I've never rimmed nor been rimmed. I sort of want to, but only if there's a shower involved first. Maybe if we're in the shower. I read things and watch things and guys really seem to like it, so it can't be all bad, but then again, there are some guys into piss and scat, and that's a definite "thanks but no thanks" situation.

I've only had sex with one person in my life, with the guy creatively referred to as "the ex."

I don't like to sixty-nine, as it's too distracting. I like to either revel in the bliss I'm giving or receiving.

A guy's face is the first thing that attracts me. I really like smiles, and expressive eyes. My favorite part of sex (not including post-coital cuddling) is the expression on his face. As a result, movies and pictures where the guy is penetrated for the first time or about to cum are my favorite, as the contorted faces are my favorite. I don't really know if that's a fetish, but it's the closest I've got.

Because I like facial expressions so much, most of my favorite positions involve the ability to make out during the dirty deed. I also like positions with as much body parts touching as possible.

My ex's favorite position was me laying on top of him. I don't have much flesh on my bones, and apparently I shake and quiver a lot when I cum, and that way he got to feel my vibrations.

I think I have really ugly legs, pale and hairy, so I really like tan and smooth legs. They're probably the second thing I notice about the fellows.

Just because I've only had sex with one person doesn't mean I don't have my share of piggy moments. I've given road head, and have given and received blowjobs in the back seat of a car (with the driver not knowing). I've done it in two parks, a nature preserve, a bathroom (with a line outside waiting), and a church bathroom. Both bathrooms were singles, with locks on the door, so I guess it's not that piggy.
The ex was renting a room from a gay couple, and two times we went on a tour of the house, from the basement to the attic, having sex in every room: me on the kitchen counter, him on the bar, on the couch, in the study, on the dining room table, stairs (well, the landing), jacuzzi, the three bedrooms, on exercise equipment,
The ex had a papasan in his room, which we used often because the angles made penetration easier.

I've only kissed two people in my life. A third kissed me: you can read that
story in an older blog here.

I don't believe in having sex before marriage, or at least love. I'm perfectly willing to wait for Mr. Right.

I don't think I've ever been properly fingered.

I need to do some trimming. The word 'manscaping' is a turnoff.

I'm slightly larger than average. Nothing that you'd gawk at in the shower, but nothing to scoff at either. For those of you who like numbers, it's between 17-19 cm, depending on where I stop and start measuring.

Buttsex is kind of disgusting when you think about it.

I've had sex six times over the course of twenty-four hours. Six times to completion each. We pretty much spent the entire day lounging around the house naked. I loved it.

I've had sex on a car roof. It was awkward.

I have absolutely no idea what to say when asked what I like to do in bed.

I enjoy the nifty erotic story archive.

The ex and I rarely used condoms. Even though he was my first and I his third, we both got tested early in the relationship and then were monogamous.

I don't understand how people can have open relationships.

I had an erection while I wrote this, but not when I edited it.
Here lies a most ridiculous raw youth, indulging himself in the literary graces that he once vowed to eschew. Now he just rocks out.