August 18, 2004

Anal Carts

At the large, dehumanizing company for which I work there is a multitude of carts available for customers. Two foyers filled with metal carts with red trim. Usually, we have strong, silent, white-trashy guys to bring carts back from their parking lot corrals. Today, however, after one guy told the boss, in not quite so many words, to "take this job and shove it," I had to substitute for a hour.

"You want me to what?"
"It's not hard. Just bring the carts back to the foyer and make sure they're not filled with flyers or anything"
"How butch do you think I am?"
"I don't know if you know this about me, but I like boys. Moving large objects across parking lots is not something my people do well."

Fortunately, a few days prior, my friend Anna turned me on to the greatest game when we were stuck in traffic. Yes, we get traffic jams, even in those square states in the middle (the one with all the cows).

You take the name of the car, and add the prefix "anal." It works best with SUVs, but it's usually amusing for all cars.

Anal Odyssey
Anal Explorer
Anal Cruiser
Anal Avalanche
Anal Trailblazer
Anal Firebird
Anal Magnum
Anal Viper
Anal Canyon
Anal Safari
Anal Rodeo
Anal Wrangler
Anal Probe
Anal Discovery
Anal Eclipse
Anal Frontier
Anal Legacy
Anal Outback
Anal Phantom
Anal Hummer
All right. I admit it--I used for help with coming up with some of these. I didn't have a pen nor paper on me to keep a list, and talking about cars leaves me drowsy. But there still is a great deal of fun to be had with 'anal'. Heh. This game had me giggling the whole time, even while I was moving carts (though usually only four or five at a time).
Here lies a most ridiculous raw youth, indulging himself in the literary graces that he once vowed to eschew. Now he just rocks out.